I’ve been off work the last couple of weeks with a bug that just would not go away. I’m finally starting to feel more human and as such am doing more work on my projects. Last night I spotted something. The perfect job! Only it was in Sydney, while I live in the UK. It’s not a huge stretch for me as I’ve lived and worked in Sydney before, very happily. I left due to various reasons but had to leave sometime anyway due to visas. I’m vastly not qualified for this job on paper, but in experience I am. But how do you translate experience onto paper? I kinda figured I’d apply for it anyway and break the news to my boyfriend when he awoke. He was very supportive and happy that I was happy – phew! I don’t anticipate being successful at all, when pitched against people with degrees and real professional experience with job titles that attest to their learned skills.

This act alone has opened me up though. I knew I had to do it for more reasons than going after a new job. I wanted to show myself that something like this isn’t completely out of reach. As I reviewed the kind of cv’s that apply for these jobs, I was stunned. The jobs I apply for ask for GCSE’s. These ones want to know what degrees you have and what awards you’ve won for excellence. To step into a new league, do I really need a degree? I have spent my life making me my degree. I have a B.A. in being Clair, healing the past and becoming more of who she is inside. I have spent more time studying me and the people around me, than what others think I need to know about the world.

I did go to university. I suffered crippling social anxiety, imposter syndrome, I was still dealing with the after effects of nearly dying from contracting meningitis. It all just got to be way too much. Instead I dropped out and focussed on my social group, and being a support for them. Talking them through all their problems and almost becoming their in house counsellor and coach. I also organised all the social functions until I went home to find a job. I felt a failure but after another student stole all my coursework halfway through one year, I felt fully depleted.

Seeing this job proved that there are companies out there that want the very thing that I love doing. My passions are being hunted for. My job history suddenly didn’t feel like mine. As I wrote about my past employments I realised I had done so much more than the job title and standard list of duties. I had also supported and mentored in each of those. I watched new leaders step into their jobs, scared and lacking knowledge. I led many of them by the hand, telling them what they needed to know and encouraging them to stand tall with confidence and lead their team. I never wanted their job, I wanted to watch them achieve what they set out to do, with a big smile on their face.

I realised something else. If I built up a good enough profile, I could offer this service to companies who don’t realise this is what they need. I have a passion and a skill that is part of me no matter what. At least one person out there wants to pay for something like this. It is time to up my game. It is time to put more into my natural skills and allow them to shine fully, no shadows or clouds in my way.

The fact this was in Sydney also awakened me. I love Sydney. What I don’t love is how amazingly beautiful everyone is. I am an oaf in comparison! It’s like everyone there has just walked out of a modelling studio. I was travelling so somewhat compromised in how I could fit in, but I was always aware that if I wanted to truly be a Sydney girl, I needed to hit the beauty salon for several hours. Maybe this is what I need to do now anyway. Up my appearance game. None of my looks reflects this dream job. I am even more aware of this as I have recently been indulging in MarieTV. I know she has a team of people to make her look good, but wow. If I want to play in the big leagues, I need to look the part. No more frumpy British easy clothes.

No matter what happens here, I have been awoken. The life of my dreams, around the job of my dreams is out there. I need to get ready if I’m ever going to stand a chance of being the person who adds the job to their CV; ‘Internal Coach – Team Happiness’. Wow.

Hello Risks! , I love you.
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