It appears to be tough times lately, for many people. This morning I was facilitating a bit of a counselling circle at work, inspired by the people that stop by my desk and feel safe enough to pour out all their worries. It’s a common occurrence, however this morning I felt the same weight as they were feeling. Lately I am feeling things that just don’t seem like they should be there.
So snapshot of my life at present. I, and the rest of my colleagues, are facing redundancy/redeployment. We don’t know where we will end up, or when. We just have to keep going to work each day and await the next piece of news. I know we will be offered something, but the scary thing is where that will be, will we need to travel far, thereby compromising our homes lives, will we experience a change in pay, will we like where we end up? And if we do not, will we have to find another job again in a short space of time?
So I am very aware that I am bored of where I am now. I adore so many of my colleagues, and they brighten my day. But I want to do more. So at the same time as all this, I am building up this website to be fully functional. I am also building up My Happy Space (my volunteer project) which is doing really well. I am also learning to drive and considering going back to university next year. I am also in a nice new home that needs attention as I am still in the process of unpacking, tidying up the rooms and making my life here fully functional. It’s all a lot.
I have a running joke with my boyfriend at the moment that I am anti-commitment. So I did wonder, is my increased stress due to all these increased commitment demands? I don’t feel walls closing in. I guess I am feeling somewhat less myself. Less able to make free choices.
I wondered if some motivational You Tube videos would help. So I picked one by Jim Carrey. He is so good at helping me to detach from the daily concerns of life. Who is Clair?
I’ll leave your mind to wander. And write. Don’t forget to write 🙂